The Flu

The Bostwick fam is laid up with the flu. Yours truly had a fever all week and just wanted to sleep. I was so scared I thought I was getting a secondary infection. Then Lee started throwing up... and I felt so much better. Just kidding. Sort of.

The kids scraped by with mild colds so far (they have excellent immune systems and take their vitamins everyday, lol). But Lee was hit absolutely the hardest. First he spent a day throwing up, now he is achey and tired and his throat hurts. When I had to leave the house, Elijah volunteered to look after his father. Lee was touched and Elijah made a good little nurseman.

So we are holed up, safe from the rain and the cold, but just sore, tired, and flu-ey. We are watching Martha Stewart and I am trying to dig into homework. I am about three weeks behind and that is scarey. But Julius is crying now... cheers.

Resurrection, Part 4

Seeing my room mate do so badly after her surgery made me really nervous for my own surgery. Luckily, I had a steady stream of visitors to distract me. Lee's sister, Lee's grandmother, my dad again, and my parent's pastor were among those who kept my mind off my general misery. By Thursday afternoon, everything was looking up and I went in ro have my gallbladder taken out.

All the nurses and doctors down in the operating area were really nice and reassuring. The anesthesia worked so quickly that I didn't have any idea they had even given it to me. I just woke up suddenly. I had no pain and just four little holes in my stomach where they had gone in. Everything went as smoothly as possible.

They let me eat chicken broth and green jello. That was the most delicious meal ever.

The next morning, the doctor's came in and said I looked fine and everything was fine. Then they sent me home. Just like that.

The first couple of days of recovery were awful, though I'm not sure why. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and I lot of time writhing around in misery in bed. Lee babied me, kept the kids in the living room with him, brought me drinks, etc. 3:00 am Saturday night (er, Sunday morning... whatever) something broke and I was suddenly thirsty again. I knew then that I would be okay. I got a tall drink and went to sleep.

Since then, I have been resting and healing. Some days are better than others (today I had a low grade fever and was miserable to everybody) but for the most part I am fine, now. I can eat anything. I can't describe how good that feels. In the weeks leading up to the hospital, I felt like I would never be able to enjoy food again.

Julius is nursing again just fine. It took a few days to build my supply back up again, but I think he had actually put on some weight in the time since I got home - making up for lost time! I was able to use a hospital breat pump while I was in just to keep it going (I am so proud of myself for that, I had to ask three different nurses, but I got it done) but it is all fine now.

Lee and I both gained a new appreciation for each other while I was away. I was so impressed with how he was able to watch the three kids overnight without freaking out. It's always been a fear of mine that if something happened to me, he would be lost, but I'm not worried about that anymore. And Lee appreciated me, too... there was a very sweet phone call... I won't try to speak for his feelings, but it was definitely an anniversary we will never forget.

It's good to be home. It's good to be holding my kids again. They missed me almost as much as I missed them. I have gotten many good hugs and loving words :)

I'm two weeks behind on my schoolwork now. My teachers are being gracious about it, but I need to buckle down now and catch up.

Thanks to everybody for praying for me, and thanks to Jesus for sustaining me.

Resurrection, Part 3

   There was no way to know for sure if a lodged stone was causing the pancreatitis, nor whether such a stone had passed. Modern medicine is really just a lot of guess and check. So on the morning of my 8th anniversary, they took me in for some sort of x-ray that would take two hours and try to get a picture of my liver, gallbladder, and pancreas function. Blood testing would determine if my liver was getting better. If things weren't getting dramatically better, they would go in through my throat to try and find and dislodge any stones. Blah, blah, blah. I dozed through the x-ray, then went back to bed. I was in a fair amount of pain all the time and I couldn't eat or drink anything. Not even ice chips or water, because again that could aggravate my pancreas. Through phone tag, I finally got to talk to my mom. Lee was with the kids at Nan's, and I got to talk to them on the phone, too. Nan told me that Julius was still fighting with her to eat. It hurt, but there was nothing I could do. Lee arrived to spend some time with me and bring things from home. 

There was a sweet little nun who was visiting all the patients on our floor. She said a special prayer for our anniversary and held my hand while she prayed for me. I think I squeezed her hand. Then she visited with Tara, who was going down to her surgery this day. She found Tara a picture of Jesus guiding the hands of the surgeon. That was nice. After the sister left, I was visited by a Father Donald who offered me communion. I explained to him that I wasn't allowed to put anything in my mouth, and he offered to annoint me, instead. It meant so much to me to receive the annointing. He read from the passage from James about going to the men of the church when you are sick, then annointed my hands and my head. I am the kind of person that is really uplifted by being touched, so the squeeze of the nun's hand and the scent of the oil are a special kind of grace for me. The Father promised torcome back and give me communion when I was able to receive it. This is why I love going to Holy Spirit, even if your doctors or nurses are not necessarily Christians, the healing presence of Jesus is meant to be present in every room. 

The day was made better by visitors. Mommi came to see me. I wasn't a very good conversationalist, but having her in the room felt good. I honestly don't remember what we talked about, but it still made me happy. 

Then my neighbor's father came to visit her before her surgery. She was due to have her gallbladder out this day. He father stayed almost until her surgery, then left because her mother arrived. They wheeled her away.

In the evening, Lee cavame to spend some time talking with me and bring me some reading material. Then Daddy arrived, too. That wass a lot of fun. They left shortly after visitng hours were over. I found out that my liver numbers were getting better.

Around 10pm, my neighbor got out of srurgery. She was supposed to have gone n at 2, but didn't go in until 4. The surgery was supposed to take two hours with rcovery, but took about 6 instead. They weren't able to do her surgery laparoscopically, and had to cut her open the old fashioned way. She was tired and in a lot of pain. It was so late that her family couldn't stay much longer. Her sister, mother, and grandmother, all had to go to work the next day, so none of them could atay to hold her hand like she wanted them to. I was heartbroken. There wasn't much I could do, tethered to my IV pole as I was, but at one point in the night I could get up and helped her with her mouth swabs. (I got in trouble with the nurses of course, lol).  She would cry and then apologize for it. 

Resurrection, Part 2

At first, the morphine made me throw up, then I felt relief slide into my body. I could still feel the pain, but it wasn't in control of me. After a short time of feeling this relief, the e-room doctor came in to see me,

"You must have a high tolerance for pain, lady, because you have a serious disease."

Yikes.

Apparently, I had "acute pancreatitis." Only, it wasn't that cute. A gallstone had most likely lodged itself in a duct outside the pancreas and the liver. Pancreatitis can either fix itself or get worse. If it gets worse, the pancreas starts autodigesting. Yum. They would try to let the stone pass itself before doing any surgery, because surgery near the pancreas is apparently really dangerous. They would send me up to bed. With the morphine in my system, I was fine with that.

They rolled me into my new home, past a girl who looked like she could be my sister, and put me in my new bed. Lee left to go back to Nan's and try to sleep. Again, as long as I wasn't in pain, that was fine, and the nurse assured me they would stay on top of the pain. I couldn't exactly sleep, because I was still in a lot of pain, but I could doze in and out. I tried to call my mom to let her know what was happening, but the stupid hospital phones don't connect to a lot of cell phones.

Around 5:30 am I knew the stone was passed. I slowly became aware of my surroundings. The girl next to me was in bad shape. I heard her tell the nurses she had been there for 6 days. She wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything. I was't allowed to eat or drink anything either, because anything going through the system can keep the pancreas from healing. All we were allowed was a little sponge dipped in water. I couldn't help but think about Jesus on the cross, how he was thirsty and they gave him a sponge to drink from. I had a lot of thoughts like this.

It's funny, because a few months ago I was thinking about how we have to be willing to literally die to follow Christ, to be like Him. And I thought about how I had no experience with pain. What would I do if actually faced with pain because of my faith? And although it's still hypothetical, I feel better about that now. I experienced a lot of pain and I feel a little more capable in that area... just a funny thought I was having.

I started to talk to the girl behind the curtain. It turned out she was in for the same problem as me, and would be having her gallbladder out shortly. She was very close to my age, had three children that she loved and wanted to get back to. The chances of two so similar cases being in the same room are infinitessimal, but I know it was a God thing. We needed to lift each other up.

Morning arrived, and it was my 8th wedding anniversary.

Resurrection, part 1

During the last four weeks, I have been through a lot of pain. I have been genuinely afraid that I was going to die. I've had my relationships tested to see what they were made of. And I have come alive again. It's good to be alive.



Sorry about the drama. It's just been truly crazy..... :)



September 22nd we took Nan out to dinner. I had a junky sort of chopped steak smothered with mushrooms and cheese. Then I went home and had a gallbladder attack (the painful passing of a gallstone). I have had them before, but this one lasted for 13 hours. All night until Lee got up for school in the morning. This was one of those times when I thought I was going to die. A sensible person would have gone to the emergency room, then, but no, 13 hours of bone crushing mind melding pain is not quite enough to send me to a doctor. (I don't care for doctors.)

I did a lot of praying that night. I felt like the pain was never going to end. I asked God not to let me die because I didn't want to leave my kids, but I was still too stubborn to go...

So the next day I was weak and tired and still felt bad in my tummy, even though I knew the stone had passed. I just wasn't all the way better. For the next two weeks, I tried to eat better to keep from being in pain, but every time I ate I had to lay down for awhile. I didn't share the pain with anybody, although I did let them know I was being careful about what I ate. Any kind of not being in control is embarassing to me. I lost 10 pounds in two weeks. That's not a bad thing in itself, but I wasn't in control of it.

Monday the 6th, I ate nothing but a plain chicken breast and plain pasta noodles, plus drank some gatorade. I could feel the pain escalating. I told Lee I needed to go to the hospital. He knew what I had been dealing with, so he was pretty freaked out.

One reason I didn't want to go to the doctor was because of Julius - he is breastfeeding exclusively, with even very few solids, and refuses to take a bottle. I was so scared to leave him. But I knew it wouldn't be any good to him if I didn't live. SO we dropped the kids at Nans, where I was soundly scolded for not going in earlier, then went to the emergency room.

At first at the emergency room, I declined pain medication so I could keep feeding Julius for awhile. While various nurses and practitioners ran in and out pre-diagnosing me (they went right for the gallbladder, no surprise there). About two hours after getting there, we finally talked to a doctor who was going to send me for an ultrasound. We explained to him about breastfeeding and his reaction was "well, he's had a good run." Mama Tiger woke up then of course and I realized I was going to have to do some advocating if I wanted nursing to survive this adventure. He suggested Lee bring the baby to the hospital for now. So Lee ran home and brought Julius to me for one last feeding. Then they took me for an ultrasound.

The ultrasound guy whistled at my pictures. That's never a good sign.

Lee ran the baby home then, and all I remember after that is the pain. I was literally bawling with pain after that. I didn't care about anything, not even nursing. I just wanted the pain gone. I asked the tech to tell the nurse to bring me pain medication RIGHT AWAY.

Instead I sat in the emergency bed crying for half an hour, finally yelling out at the nurses station for someone to come. My nurse came bouncing in then, smiling at me. "Ready for some pain medication?" he asked.

Grrrr.

Lee was back at this point, and Rachel was introduced to morphine. That was the low point of the whole adventure. After morphine, things slowly started to get better.

To be continued...