Friday, April 9, 2010

Bonding and Uniqueness (Mom thoughts)


Jules and Liv are developing the sweetest little bond. They both like to roughhouse and run around, and Olivia can be affectionate and obnoxious with his, and he just eats it up. If she comes on too strong, he just pushes her away. It's so good for everybody right now. Olivia needs a lot of face time, and while I do my very best to love on her and give her attention every day, I often feel like I fall short of her needs. How much better for her to be getting face time not just from me, but from her father and each of her brothers, too. Julius is benefitting, too. He has someone who takes him seriously all the time, and he is picking up a lot of words from his sister, too. Nice words like "Yes, ma'am" and "Love you, Deedee." (that's his special name for Olivia, it means sissy).

For better or worse, Elijah isn't as silly-hearted as his sister. He doesn't want to play around physically, for him there's no such thing as a good tussle. He does liketo have his back rubbed, and he wants a hug, but only when its his idea. He wants his jokes to be understood on an adult level. He strives to emulate his father. He wants to talk about space and time. He likes to speculate, and he doesn't want you to patronize him with your answers. I love him, and I realize that he is always going to be his own person, with his own interests and desires.

Olivia, in the meantime, is also becoming more civilized! She is my lighthearted sanguine, and needs a lot of repetition, so I am teaching her by having key phrases that I repeat to help her control her own behavior. At the grocery store, for example, she has learned to stay in the "safe zone". Oh, it sounds so corny written down. But if she walks right behind me, touching my shirt, then she won't get bumped with my cart or get in the way of others. At first, I had to remind her over and over, and I spent more time correcting her than buying food. It was exhausting. But the last couple trips, she has been very good, and she lets me know that she is doing it purposefully. As she is getting to be a better listener, she is starting to help me more and more around the house. This helps me with my workload, and it also fills the aforementioned need for facetime. So there are some really good things happening with Olivia, and that makes me happy. She is going to be a real blessing when Gabriel arrives.

And, yes, little Julius says "Yes, ma'am," now when he finally decides to obey me. It often takes five or six repetitions - "Put the spoon back in the drawer, Julius. Put the spoon..." and so forth. But it's magical for me to be able to communicate with the little peanut at all. I am so happy with how well he communicates. He is forming three word sentences now - mostly commands like "Mommy watch ball" or "ELIJAH [get] cookie monster cup!" or "Olivia come eat!" Today he said "Mommy, Daddy home!!" that was a good one :)

Tonight, Elijah went to bed first. I read him his devotional, then prayed with him, kissed him, and gave him instructions - we would like to sleep in tomorrow morning, so our little early-to-bed-early-to-riser is permitted to have a pop tart and play a game while the rest of the family dozes.

About forty minutes later, Olivia asked me to read to her, also. She dances while she listens, and only listens halfway, but I don't mind. We talked about the devotional, then prayed together. When she crawled into bed, Julius decided to crawl in beside her, and they both fell asleep quite peacefully within ten minutes. It was unexpected, but nice, and I decided to let them stay that way.

2 comments:

Laurel H. said...

Sweet!

jennifaye said...

Oh my. She will be his little mommy when Gabe comes. Perfect!