Thrush

"Mom, what are those white spots on Gabe's tongue?"

Sticky white horror, that's what.

The last two weeks have been trying in the breastfeeding department. First, we had a plugged duct. I had a fever for one day and was afraid it was escalating, but we did the usual things for clearning up a plugged duct, and the fever went down and the duct cleared up and we were fine. I felt like a champion.

Then thrush hit. Thrush is an overpopulation of yeast that infects both mom and baby, baby in the mouth and mom in the well, feeding implements. It makes feeding painful for both mom and baby. When I say painful, I mean this: right now, when I feed Gabe, it feels roughly like I am sticking a knife in my hand. Ocassionally, the knife is wiggled around just to remind me that it still hurts.

Thrush is one of the reasons why I could never get mad at someone who couldn't stick with nursing. Sometimes it hurts.

There are a few reasons why I won't quit, even though a lot of people would, and most people wouldn't blame me for quitting. First, I am terrifically stubborn. I am committed to nursing. I don't care that it hurts. For me, that's not a good enough reason to quit. If the child weren't getting enough food, I might quit. (Gaining weight at twice the expected rate, the doctor wrote. Nursing like crazy.) Plus, I am too cheap to quit. When the thought crosses my mind, I think of all the cans of formula I would have to buy. And how much they would cost. And how gross they taste, lol. And how much harder it would be to comfort him.

So I tense my entire body for the pain, and feed him.

It's not my first time. When Olivia asked what the "white spots" were, Lee cringed on the other side of the room. He knew, from experience, what they meant. When I went to the store and picked up a bottle of acidophilus tablets and a tube of clotrimazole, he knew what it was for. We shrugged at the fact that I have gotten thrush with every child. Just once with each child.

I take the acidophilus internally, and break up a tablet to give to the baby in a solution of expressed milk. The clotrimazole I apply to the sore areas on myself after he is done eating. It will clear up, and the pain will be a dim memory soon. It's worth it. We will go on to have a long and happy nursing relationship.

I know this is not a very fun post. But I am writing it in case anyone comes looking for information about thrush. Be encouraged, it passes, and it's worth getting through. Just in case anyone needs to know.

And what have I learned from this? Because I learn from all of it. There's a reason Paul said we women are "saved through childbearing". It all has its lessons and reasons for us. But this lesson isn't so much instructive for me as reassuring. I learned that if I had to laymy life down for my child, I really would. Even if I had to drive a nail through my own hand for his benefit, I would do it. By God's grace, I could do it. And this is good practice in laying my life down.

Here's some eye candy for smile value.

Boy Pile

What I am looking at right now.

I couldn't get by without her right now.

Boy Pile 2