As we packed the last few things into the car and threw the last boxes into the trash, I casually corrected Elijah by telling him that we wouldn't be coming back ever. It took about ten or fifteen minutes for this to sink in. I came back later to find tears streaming down his face. He was sad, he said. He was going to "miss this home." He was going to miss the rooms and "everything". Elijah is five; New Cumberland was his first real home. He may actually remember this. He is excited about the new house, but he just wanted permission to mourn the old one.
His father came out and talked to him. He told him that he was going to miss the old house, too, and that it was okay because all of our toys and games are at the new house, and there will be new friends. He told him to cry for a little bit, then be a big boy and stop. He was very sensitive about the whole thing. They are two peas in a pod, those boys.
It amazes me that I have a son who is old enough to mourn.
I guess I am more used to saying goodbye to houses. I am not sad at all. I am relieved to finally have everything wrapped up there. I am ready to make my new house into a home, to make it into a wonderful place for my family to live in. Even the small mountain of boxes in the living room fills me only with anticipation - even in conjunction with the little one currently pressing his limbs against my stomach. I am satisfied and excited. I hope Lee knows that.
More than anything, I am happy to be out of Limbo. The level of discipline in the household is shot right now. The kids (and me, and Lee) need some security right now. Yes, Julius will shake things up, but we will still be at HOME, just... together. Functioning as a family. Poor Olivia poo'd in her pants this evening in the hustle bustle of getting the old place cleaned and emptied. I couldn't even hardly be mad at her - she had mentioned that she needed to go, and I brushed it off. Then she had to deal with the results until I could get her to a potty and a stack of paper towels. My poor baby. Stability, that's what we need right now. Stability and a good working toilet Oh, wait, we already have one of those because Lee ROCKS at learning how to do stuff.
Dear God, thanks for getting us through all this. Please bring the baby here safely and help us to stay connected as a family. Help us to love each other and bear each other's burdens.
3 comments:
I always feel sad to leave. Even when I desperately want to go.
Elijah is such a sweetie.
Me too. I feel sad to leave anywhere or anything. Even when it is not such a good person, place, or thing. That is how kids with abusive parents feel. They don't want things to change.
Stability is so important. For us it was our family more than a place. Now I cannot imagine leaving this place.
I am glad Sarah is coming home. I would love it if all my kids stay here. But that is not meant to be.
Guess that is why we look to heaven sometimes for our forever home.
I remember Cory being fearful of getting packed up in the boxes when the movers came. He was 2 years old.
I haven't mourned every place we've left....some places I couldn't wait to shake the dirt from my feet.
It'll be good for your family to cocoon in your new home.
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